The Practical Enneagram

Styles of relating, with Matt Ahrens

January 31, 2023 Rezzan Huseyin Season 1 Episode 55
The Practical Enneagram
Styles of relating, with Matt Ahrens
Show Notes

With Valentine's Day around the corner, let's visit some of the lunacy that happens in relationships. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, coach, mediator and trainer, the delightful Matt Ahrens (Self-pres 9), shares his insights into each type's attachment issues. Matt disputes a lot of traditional Attachment Theory and says the whole thing with attachment is a lot more nuanced (which the Enneagram can account for). There are in fact three distinct styles for each type. Get in touch with Matt if this sort of thing lights you up. 

Instead of episode notes, here is Matt’s organisation of the Enneagram types and attachment styles:

Core attachment strategy, based on the dominant Center (wounded place)
234 - Anxious
567 - Avoidant 
891 - Disorganised - simultaneous co-arising of both 

Adaptive style, based on Hornevian groups (the non-wounded place)
126 - Anxious 
378 - Disorganised 
459 - Avoidant 

Subtype layer
SP - Warm (Anxious)
SX - Hot (Disorganised)
SO - Cool (Avoidant)

To summarise: 
Type 9 - Disorganised/Avoidant + subtype
Type 1 - Disorganised/Anxious + subtype
Type 2 - Anxious/ Anxious + subtype
Type 3 - Anxious/Disorganised + subtype
Type 4 - Anxious/Avoidant + subtype
Type 5 - Avoidant/Avoidant +subtype 
Type 6 - Avoidant/Anxious + subtype
Type 7 - Avoidant/Disorganised + subtype
Type 8 - Disorganised/Disorganised +subtype 

Find Matt

Music by Roman Senyk from Pixabay

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If you have something to teach me about the Enneagram, please get in touch.

Email address: rez@thepracticalenneagram